I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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