I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
