Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
