I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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