You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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