We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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