I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
