im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
