im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
