dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
NoShamevember. You game?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
