They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
