I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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