i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
