ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
