I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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