I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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