Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
