so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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