absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
