I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
