He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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