so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How does one acquire holy water?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
