I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
