You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
