Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
