We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
