don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
