stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize