bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
