I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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