I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
