bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize