we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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