Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
