i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
