Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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