WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
