Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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