D3 body, D1 cock
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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