guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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