You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
