i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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