"it" just moved
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
