he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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