i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
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