their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
