he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
