...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
