I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
