A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
