a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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