She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
