Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
