so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
