But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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