I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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