Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
