i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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