I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
